Monday, December 8, 2008

i'm too old

worked pro bono . . .

worked 35 hours for the week . . .

worked with Ella Sophie in her sling the entire day . . .

baby slept drooling against my chest for two twenty minute naps . . .

consumed at least two thirty ounce sonic cherry dr. peppers each day . . .

exhausted out of my freakin mind and i get to start it all over again tomorrow . . .

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Happy Holidays


Nazareth Carpenter Being Held on Charges of Child Endangerment, Statutory Rape

Bethlehem, Judea (Late Edition) - Authorities were alerted today by a concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a local barn. Upon arrival Family Protective Services personnel, accompanied by police, took into protective care an infant child identified only as “Jesus” who had been wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year-old mother, identified as Mary of Nazareth.

During the incident a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth, attempted to stop the social workers from performing their duties. Joseph, aided by several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts to take the child, but were restrained by police.

Also being held for questioning are three foreigners, alleged to be “wise men” from an eastern nation. Officials from the INS and Department of Homeland Security are seeking information about these individuals who appear to be in the country illegally. A source within the INS stated that they had no passports in their possession, but did have in their possession large quantities of gold and other possibly illegal or controlled substances. The men resisted arrest, stating that they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own countries. The chemical substances in their possession have not been identified and will undergo further testing.

The owner of the barn in which the family was found residing will also be held for questioning. The manager of the Bethlehem Inn, adjacent to the barn, faces possible revocation of his innkeeper’s license for violation of a number of health and safety ordinances in that he allowed guests to stay in the stable. Municipal authorities are also certain that zoning violations have occurred, since both the barn owner and the owner of the inn have maintained livestock in a commercial district not zoned for the housing of livestock.

Officials have refused to name the location at which the minor child is being held and the prospect for a timely resolution of the situation is doubtful. When asked about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Services spokesperson stated “The father is a middle-aged man and the mother is definitely underage. We are currently checking with police in Nazareth to determine exactly what the nature of their relationship is.”

Joseph, the baby’s alleged father, has admitted to taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a requirement to register for a census in Bethlehem, his ancestral home town. However, because she was obviously pregnant when the left Nazareth, investigators are looking into other possible reasons for their departure from that town. Joseph is currently being held in the Bethlehem Municipal Detention Center without bond on several charges, among them kidnapping, statutory rape, and child endangerment.

Mary, the baby’s mother, was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is currently being examined by doctors, according to a police spokesperson, who said that she too may face child endangerment charges. Additionally, she will undergo psychiatric evaluation following her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is “from God.” The director of the hospital’s psychiatric services told reporters, “I don’t profess to have the right to tell people what to believe or not to believe, but when their beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others –in this case her innocent child—we must consider her a danger to others. The unidentified drugs at the scene didn’t help her case either. Still, I’m confident that with proper therapy we can get her back on her feet.”

A spokesperson for the governor’s office said “Who knows what was going through their minds? Regardless, their treatment of the child was absolutely inexcusable and the involvement of these other individuals is a frightening thing. There is so much that we don’t know about this case, but for the sake of the infant and the public at large, the community can rest assured that we will pursue this matter to the end, no matter what it takes to find the truth.”

i just thought i would take a moment to remind myself and others that it's only life afterall, and at that it's not too shabby.



Monday, November 24, 2008


i am so excited! my mother-in-law is coming today to pick up four of my five children to give me a small break for the week! i am cleaning up (really just picking up) my house and i am about to put up our Christmas tree so that when we come home from Thanksgiving vacation we can really get the holidays started. the kids have no idea mwahaa haa! (insert evil laughter here)

the holidays are here!

it is all my sister's fault, she started the landslide of good cheer by giving me my birthday present early (THANK YOU!) a limited edition BOXED set of all the claymation Christmas classics FUN BOX! I have always wanted it, but have been too cheap to buy it. i watched them all, rudolf, santa claus is coming to town, frosty, frosty returns, i did not watch that lame excuse for a christmas classic, "cricket in the hearth crap!

despite what wal-mart and the rest of retail have been advertising, i have refused to begin decorating for Christmas until this week. it has been extremely difficult and yesterday i was like a kid in a candy store following jere around the barn pointing to all the boxes we needed in order to get the house ready. he said if he didn't love me so much he would, "smack my goofy butt for being so excited!" smacked or not, i still would have continued on my mission.

i love this time of the year. it's not about the presents. i think there is way to much pressure on that particular subject, so much that it's not even that fun sometimes. NO, i love family, the decorating, and food. i love cocoa, and sugar cookies, and Christmas lights, and homemade decorations, and games, and peppermint, and sharing bathrooms, and driving to our family's home, and cheesy holiday music, and everything else! i am super happy and can't wait for thursday!

merry christmas and happy new year

can't wait to see you all

only 30 more days til Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, November 20, 2008


i did not make my children go to school today

my house looks like the cold front blew right through our front door and destroyed everything in its path

i am not wearing a bra or deoderant and have not brushed my teeth today

i am making sugar cookies and banana bread (been cruising recipe websites for an hour)

belle is wearing her pj's and high heels with a cowboy hat on her head

i've watched elf TWICE today

my big kids want to play guitarhero until their IQ drops at least 10 points

you know what?



care . . .

happy thursday


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

the gap

this was an unusual weekend. my mother came down and went shopping in hot topic with my girls and "outcooled" me for once. they were quite impressed and loved every minute of it and i believe secretly mom loved it just as much. i am not thrilled with their choice of clothes, but oh well, they do have to express themselves. right?

sunday was church as usual. it was our normal service, nothing particularly spectacular. our pastor ask us to have special prayer for a mutual friend of ours who is quite sick. i prayed hard and was very upset about her illness. while i was standing in the pew my pastor's wife came up beside and spoke quietly to me. she said for whatever reason my brother was on her heart for several days and would i mind "standing in the gap" for him.

"standing in the gap" is not just praying for someone else's needs, it's praying with the real hope and real intent that God will step in and act in the positive for someone else. you are the physical for this absent person. it's simply trusting God to act in the manner He sees fit for the person we care about. it is allowing some of God's passion and strength to burn within us.

i have never done this before. my children are a million times more pentecostal than i am. jere was raised with speaking in tongues and the moving of the holy spirit, having been raised baptist myself, my husband considers it a real accomplishment that i clap to the music now :)

i said yes

i stood in front of my church as they laid hands on me and began to pray in unison for my brother. they prayed for his strength, patience, understanding, hope, success, faith, healing and family. except for two, all of these people know nothing of my brother. my eyes were sealed tight, i couldn't look at the faces around me.

i stood there relaxing and allowed myself to focus on my brother and all his pain and i felt my entire body ache and my shoulders hunch from the weight that he carries. i allowed myself to succumb to the holy spirit, to try to understand the unspeakable. my heart broke. i was so tired. as i sank to my knees in prayer and meditation my heart exploded and i cried for him. i cried the tears he has already cried and the ones he refuses too. i hurt so bad for him to know that he hurts worse and there is nothing i can do in the physical to set things right.

i want to hold my brother and tell him i am here for him, i want to kiss his brown face, maybe even dare to touch his curly hair. i want to make him smile.

i will do no such thing. he has a shield around him right now and i accept that. i will continue to rely on my faith and prayers no matter if we agree on that or not. i will leave him alone to his thoughts, we will not discuss this. and that is fine, that is how things are between us. i'm actually alright with that.

cause you know what . . .

i stood in the gap

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

They're Cousins, Identical Cousins Just the Same!

cousin-noun Pronunciation [kuhz-uhn]
one related by descent in a diverging line from a known common ancestor, as from one's grandparent or from one's father's or mother's sister or brother.

i have several cousins on both my mother and father's side. i know each on sight and know at least one small minute fact about each one. however i probably know more the homeless guy jack likes to give donuts to than these people. shocking? probably, but still it's a fact. they don't anything about me either.

we did not grow up around either of my parents families and as such do not have any tie to most of these people. don't get me wrong, i would be very upset if anything happened to these relatives, but honestly there just is no relationship. there were never invitations to weddings or showers of any sort and truthfully why should there be. you wouldn't invite the strange neighbor down the street to a family BBQ why would you invite the strange cousin you've seen four times in your life to your wedding.

does it make me sad? yes. a little, no alot. however there's no going back and you cannot change the past.

i can't change the past for me, but i can ensure better future relationships for my children. i am proud to say that they not only know who there cousins are, they WANT to be around them and care for them deeply.

i know that doesn't change the fact that i should know and care more about my belly-dancing cousin or the one who just got married or the one who got married again, or the three who just had babies, or the two that really want a baby. it's just my way of making sure the past doesn't repeat itself.

blessings to you debbie, greg, michelle, michael, stephanie, andrew, aimee, heather, emilee, miranda, and alex

i hope your life is going well for you, i truly do.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Secret Life of Bees-My Most Boring Blog Yet :)

So i'm cruising the web, because i don't want to clean my home (surprise surprise) and i notice there is a trailer for this movie, "the secret life of bees". and my brain is thinking, "why does this sound so familiar to me?"

i own this book

about seven years ago, back when my sister-in-law was just my friend, she gave me this book on one of her random (i must have order in this chaos) cleaning sprees. i remember this for three reasons, 1) i got some cool old navy t-shirts, which i still have 2)my brother was living with her one floor below my apartment and that was "different" 3) and she gave me several books on poetry, feminism, and this book.

well today, i read that book from cover to cover. i am only ashamed to say that i hadn't read it sooner. it is really a nice easy read.

jere and i have moved four times since we have been married and as such i have culled down my mini library considerably. for some reason i hadn't given this book away. maybe because stace gave it to me and might notice it missing, (though i doubt, my betty friedan collection *courtesy of stace yet again* has been shrinking for years unnoticed :) or just the interesting name, the cover artwork, whatever.

for whatever reason i saved it and i'm glad i did and i'm glad my sister-in-law thought i might like it and i'm glad they made it into a movie, and i'm just glad

did i mention i watched "Pollyanna" three times today?



Thursday, October 16, 2008

Home-made Chocolate Fudge Sheet Cake

This is for my sister-in-law Stace :) We visited the local pumpkin patch this morning and had a blast!

This recipe is not for the faint of heart or dieting stomach.

2 Cups flour 2 Cups sugar 1/2 tsp salt 1 tsp soda Mix together flour, sugar, salt, and soda.

In a saucepan combine:
1 Cup water
1/2 Cup oil
1 stick butter (you can cheat with margarine, I use BUTTER)
5 Tbl cocoa
Bring this to a boil and pour over flour mixture. Stir well.

Add to mix:
2 eggs (slightly beaten, but not defeated)
1/2 Cup buttermilk or sour milk (I use regular is I don't have either)
1 tsp vanilla

Bake in a greased 11x15 pan at 350 for 20-25 minutes. While cake is cooking prepare topping for cake.

Combine in a saucepan
1 stick butter
4 Tbl cocoa
6 Tbl milk
Cook until butter is melted on low heat.

Add to this
1 LB of powered sugar
1 tsp vanilla
and if you like 1 Cup of chopped nuts

Mix well and pour onto HOT, FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN cake!

Enjoy this beautiful fall weather, love and miss everyone


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

PSAT fever

I am so excited! Today my oldest is taking the PSAT for the very first time and I am way more pumped than she could ever be. The thought of her one day getting to go to college doesn't make me sad for time passing, it simply invigorates my spirit on the endless possibilities her life can have with a college degree. (Yes I am that optimistic)

I loved college, every moment of it and if I could I would still be there today!

so please tell me why my sulky 15 year old doesn't feel the same way I do? She left this morning with such attitude for "this stupid test" no energy for this "rite of passage!" What is going on?

I guess for me it just takes me back to my high school days when I wanted to take the SAT and my mom said, "but you would be such a great hair dresser and you don't need college for that". Or my senior year of college where my mom says, "do you really think you are going to make it, are you going to graduate, you know I always thought you would make such a great beautician".

Pause. Sigh.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very much, it's just that I really want to convey to my daughters that the sky is the limit, not the "Smart Style" and while I am currently on a "mommy hiatus" from teaching, for now I still have the same goals and aspirations I had (gasp has it been that long) 17 years ago only now I have them for my beautiful, intelligent, funny, fabulous, daughters.

Register to VOTE!
Spay and neuter your PETS!


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I swear this was not me

We've all been there, we're tired, we've worked hard all day and all we want to do is sit down, maybe take a shower and just go to bed . . . you walk in the house see the kitchen and see HIM sitting on the couch eating chips and watching TV, he smiles at you. he has no clue . . .

This is from today's Star Telegram

Dirty dishes led to woman's rampage
She faces charges after allegedly biting, swinging sword at boyfriend

FORT WORTH, Texas - A 20-year-old woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes, police said.
The woman was arrested Thursday afternoon at the couple's apartment, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported on its Web site.
The 21-year-old man told police that he became involved in an argument because the woman was upset that the dishes were not clean. Police Lt. Paul Henderson said the woman told the man to leave the apartment, but he refused.
Henderson said the woman then tried to physically remove the man. During the ensuing struggle, the woman bit the man's right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts, Henderson said.
The woman then grabbed an approximately 2-foot sword and swung it at him, but missed, police said.
The woman was released from a Mansfield jail after posting a $10,000 bond, jail officials said.
Henderson said the man and woman had lived together for four months.

She just wanted him to do some dishes.

Monday, September 15, 2008

a very random messy blog

we just returned from a week-end trip to my mom's, it was her birthday and so her clan descended upon graham as motley and mischievous as my baby nephew's hero, Curious George. with all nine grandchildren ages 2 1/2 months to 17 (we were missing one-lyd had homecoming) and siblings with spouses in tow we are "quite a site". with the exception of the hours of 1am to 6 am there was not a quiet moment i think the entire week-end.

it was messy, loud, dramatic, goofy, tense, hilarious, fun, and full of energy (both positive and negative)and B.S. my stomach still hurts from too much food and too much laughing. (i just want to send out a shout out to Mrs. Nesbitt, i loved the hat)

but what i loved the most was us.

i love every moment of us, us being marm, dude, bear, stace, curl, drey, lyd, mike, boddhi-boy, kels, beeps, crackson, iz, elle, and zoo. we each bring so much to the table that there's hardly ever room for all of us at once (both literally and figuratively)and that is just beautiful.

when i watch the girls play volleyball, or just decide to take a walk arm in arm as friends not just family my heart wants to explode. i want to scream, YES!!! I WANTED THAT, CHERISH THAT, LOVE THAT, EMBRACE IT, DON'T YOU EVER TURN YOUR BACK ON IT! when my kids scream and run around the house, "uncle dustin and aunt stacey are here!" i want to do the same thing! when my 4 year old niece grabs my legs from behind and squeezes so tight i feel warm all over, but when my seventeen year old niece hugs me so tight my ribs hurt i feel even warmer and my eyes mist.

i guess what i am saying is, i'm a nerd for my family. there is absolutely nothing that i wouldn't do for them that is within my grasp. and for what is out of my grasp, well dammit i'll make a jump for it and then ask my big, beautiful husband to give it a try too.

when my kids fight i usually embarrass them by making them say "positive" affirmations to one another. usually this brings the fight down a notch and reminds them of what is important. the truth is i believe those affirmations with all my heart as well.

1st-God does not make mistakes, He chose YOU to be my family and as such it is my job to love, respect, and protect you.

2nd-you are wanted, needed, and loved by me always and no matter what, nothing in this world will ever change those feelings.

3rd-be nice to your siblings, they are your closest link to your past and most likely to stick with you in the future.

and lastly, to my dad, we miss you so much daddy, you were sorely missed this week-end, but hey aren't they all so beautiful . . .


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

what is wrong

well jere has the job, we've got the baby, and we don't have to move right now. all of my ducks seem to be in a row. so why do i feel this incredible need to shoot those ducks til they all sink to the bottom of the lake?

everything is as it should be except for one tiny detail . . . me. i'm not alright, i'm not o.k., i'm not functioning on all six cylinders yet. i feel so foreign in my own body. i am having trouble getting myself together and that is very unlike me.

ever since ella's labor i have been out of control. i know that no one can truly control their entire world or environment, but there are certain aspects that we have a hand in. my problem is i can find no aspect of my life i feel like i am in charge of or have any authority over. it is making me crazy. my body, my mind, my emotions are all running amuck and that is just nutty.

jere is beside himself and doesn't know what to do with me. he just keeps telling me how amazing i am and how much he loves me. he texts me when he is at work every night reminding me how much in love he is with me, what a good mommy i am, how strong a woman i am, everything you would want your significant other to say. now not that i don't love or appreciate all this attention from my husband, but it makes me question just how much of a mess i am conveying to the rest of the world if he is that worried.

i want to feel whole again. i feel like i am only portraying whatever "me" needs to be present for each situation. well-wishers have tried to come over and they call all the time and i have no desire for anyone to come over. how much longer can i use the "just had a baby" card before people just think i am ignoring them and being rude?

i'm stopping now, i just erased half of this blog and that's a good thing.


Thursday, June 19, 2008

She's Here

Ella Sophie Eve McCurdy arrived safely on Tuesday, June 17th, at 5:21 pm. We are home now and feeling alright. We are mostly glad to just be home. I will give you more details later.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Graduated and Passed

So he finally graduated and we got through that chaos. It was so hectic but we had a great time, actually we had a better time than I had actually expected. I am truly thankful for all of our family and friends who helped out.

Next we just received Jere's scores for his PPR and he PASSED! We are so proud of him, now he can really be considered a serious candidate for all these jobs he is applying for. We are so excited and thankful, it is such good news. So . . .

Now what? There are two prospective jobs waiting for him we are just waiting on them now. We are so ready to know which direction to go in and Jere has been awful during this wait. He needs to know that these last six years were not in vain.

Someone should write a book about the graduating experience, but only from the perspective of after graduation. You know the part where you have the degree in one hand and no experience in the other :) pleading with strangers to give you a chance to prove yourself. Now that is a reality series I would actually watch, because I know too many people who aren't trying to become famous (like the ones in most reality shows) just trying to make a living.

Before he was driving me crazy with the whole, "What if I don't pass thing?" Now he is making me equally crazy with this, "I'm only going to be making x amount of dollars, how are we going to survive?" "What if I get the job and they need me now?" "What if there is no place to rent?" I may be hormonal because of the pregnancy, but at least I'm not obsessing like my beloved spouse. I just keep telling him, we are going to be fine, stop worrying, everything is going to be alright. And you know what, it is. I am at peace.

I already miss my job and I am quite sad about not going back in the fall, however I know that we are doing the right thing. Once he gets a job and we have the baby I am sure he will calm down. Until then please pray for our continued peace as not just couple, but as a family as well.



Friday, April 25, 2008

two weeks

two weeks and jere will be graduating, two weeks and the last five years of blood, sweat, tears, and sacrifice will be over. two more weeks and jere will have his degree.

now what?

we've looked online at jobs and viewed the map of texas more times than I ever did teaching texas history in the last month, and still there seems to be no path revealed. we don't know what we are even praying for anymore.

after five years of living in abilene and wanting to leave, the urge to dig my heels in and resist the bit has overcome me. i have never been so adamant about not moving. i don't know what is wrong with me.

i am trying desperately to be gracious in any choice that jere feels God is leading him to and walk that path with him, but i fear i am failing miserably. my prayers are for strength, (for my children, so they can lean on me if we do have to uproot them) wisdom, (to know which path is truly where are steps are directed), and grace (to be the wife and mother that i am fully capable of being, not the self-centered bitch that i crave to be right now). i don't recognize myself at this moment, nor do i like myself either and must meditate daily to be re-centered.

i close my eyes each day at 2 pm while my students journal and just pray and meditate. the baby kicks and moves during this time and that soothes me. i focus on this baby's safe arrival and the happiness it will bring. i do not want to think of packing everything up, leaving everyone behind, and starting again. it is childishness that motivates these feelings, but they are justified in me. i have my reasons.

i want so badly for my children to have a place they call home. when people ask where i am from i usually say graham since this is the only home that my parents/mom have lived in for quite some time. my children have good memories of my mother's home and the dependibility of always knowing that no matter what is going on in my life, they can count on marmee and graham. i didn't have that as a child and it still bothers me. i suppose that is what drives and motivates me to find a "home" for my children.

jere has received offers from pecos, brownwood, big spring, amarillo, and hereford. all of these offers make me want to cry. i know my husband. he is a man of duty. he will have a job and he will go where the money is. too long has jere waited for his chance to take care of us in the manner that he sees fit. too long has my wonderful husband felt like less than a spouse should because i was the breadwinner and he the humble college student. he constantly focuses on the feelings that he doesn't do enough financially as the "man" for us. i know he will take one of these jobs if something doesn't come along soon. april is almost over and he is now running scared, my last pay check will be the end of july, we have some time.

God help us

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


When we made the decision for me not to go back to work in December I was ecstatic. I mean truly thrilled. But now with only a few weeks of school left I am starting to get sad. My boss has already started the search to find someone to replace me (am I replaceable, yes) and I need to make arrangements to clean out my room before June. So much to do and all of it feels so final.

I really thought that this would be so much easier than it is, but the idea of leaving behind this life that I have created with all these wonderful people and kids really depresses me.

I started teaching five years ago without my heart being involved. I was going to "whip" all these kids into shape with structure and discipline. Now I see that really it was me that has been whipped into shape and made into not just a better teacher, but a better human being. I love teaching, as corny as that may sound it is the truth.

I am going to miss all the frustrations, fun, and hard work that go into day to day education and I never thought that could happen. I know that once this baby is in my arms that my entire perspective will change, but for now I think that it is alright for me to grieve to this pause in an important part of my life.



Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I just came from the doctor's this afternoon and everything is looking much better! The suishi is working. My sodium looks good, no diabetes, and my blood pressure is working its way down slowly but surely. I will not be on bedrest!!!!

Please keep in your hearts and minds that we are in deep prayer and meditation in regards to curl's job. There is a job fair on Thursday and we are so hoping that some good will come out of it even though we know absolutely no one who has ever been hired from one! Please send us the good vibes, thoughts, and prayers we so desperately need.



Monday, February 18, 2008

The Middle

23 weeks

I am so ashamed. I really thought I was going to be super mom with this baby and thus far I have failed miserably. You see I had so many plans with this pregnancy. First I was going to get in incredible shape before I got pregnant again. Cycling, walking, yoga, you name it I was going to be into it and for the betterment of "colekind". Second I was going to eat well, no caffeine, no fat, plenty of fiber and veg. Last, I would meditate more, at least an hour a day.

Let's look at this list. Great shape, if that includes pears I 'm good. Exercise, hmmm does that include getting up to pee six times a night? And finally meditation, I've seen chihuahuas with more calm and serenity about them than me. Put all these together and what do you get? A fat, tired, and completely messy human being who just happens to be supporting a human life at this moment.

Pregnant again and I still don't have it down right. That just doesn't seem fair somehow. I mean aren't I suppose to be getting wiser with age? Shouldn't I be the poster child for pregnancy by now? I have read every pregnancy article out there. I know what I am suppose to be doing. What all the celebrities are doing. I see the clothes in Motherhood, I know how I am suppose to look. So why am I still eating doritoes and sneaking coffee when curl is not around?

I completely understand the importance of my health and sanity for this precious baby. I'm not stupid, so why is it my husband has to hand me my vitamin daily or else I'll forget to take it? Why am I pregnant again if I am so worthless at doing what society says I should. Why don't I get it in gear and start having my PC-pregnancy?

Here's why. I'm actually quite content with eating doritos and sipping skinny latte's from Starbucks. I like my round belly and large peasant breast. I love laying in the backyard swing reading for two hours while the other four children play/fight. I like being a large cat, lounging in my tree watching the world without a care. Lifting my glass into the air and watching which child will quickly refill it for me.

I love my beautiful husband massaging me every night before bed so I can "sleep better". And I love each night before bed the way he talks to my tummy and rubs lotion all over it. I love the way he actually thinks (or has convinced me anyway) that I am actually sexier this way. I love having sex with no thought about "what if" because "what if" is on its way. I love being pregnant.

Yes, I should have lost the weight. Yes, I am doing better not drinking very much caffeine (only twice a week). And yes, I am walking, doing some modified yoga (when I feel like it) and eating in moderation (except for mashed potatoes and corn).

But when all is said and done, I'm quite happy with this pregnancy. Besides I don't want to waste this one last opportunity to experience the inexperiencible my way, potato chips, fried green tomatoes, milkshakes, and all.


Beautiful batheing babes (and bubs)